Are divorce settlements fair after a brain injury?

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Disclaimer:  This article is written specifically regarding UK law and not about any other international territories. It shouldn’t be taken as legal advice, you should consult a lawyer if you are considering or going through a divorce.

Following a life changing accident, it can be difficult to plan for the future. You’re living day to day so unless you have a crystal ball, it feels impossible to think about what lies ahead. Yet once we have been allocated compensation money to aid our recovery from the accident, planning is exactly what we need to do. I’m not talking about finding the right case manager and what therapies to engage in, I mean how to make sure that in the event of a divorce that your former spouse doesn’t take half of the money that is supposed to sustain you for many years, or even for the rest of your life. 

Survivors of a traumatic brain injury which was the result of an accident caused by someone else can receive very substantial funds based on the nature of their injuries. A life changing injury requires a life changing sum of money to attempt to “put you back in the position you were before the accident.” Putting a price on that is very difficult because you can’t be in the same position ever again with a brain injury, but the money needs to enable you to have the best chance possible of a recovery and a reasonable quality of life. Every case is different, but if I said that often it is possible to buy a house without a mortgage with the compensation you’ll understand that I’m talking about a lot of money. 

How divorce can have a lasting effect on a brain injury survivor.

I met a lady who was knocked over by a bus when she was a teenager and sustained a major brain injury. She has never been able to work as a result, and therefore had a very large compensation package to sustain her for the rest of her life. She went on to get married and have children and a reasonable life despite her difficulties. No one gets married thinking that the relationship is going to ever end, so she didn’t ever ask her partner to sign a prenuptial agreement. The Office for National Statistics (ONS) estimated in 2012 that 42% of marriages in England and Wales would end in divorceand unfortunately, her marriage went the same way. The result was he took a substantial sum and now she struggles financially. As she is unable to work there is no way for her to resolve this situation and wishes that she had safeguarded her money. 

This got me thinking, is it right that the law leaves it up to the brain injury survivor to make the decision on if they need to ringfence their compensation settlement so it can’t be counted as martial assets in the event of a divorce? Whilst it’s fair to say that many relationships become strained following a brain injury, there isn’t reliable data to say if the divorce rate is directly affected by it. But even if we assume it’s the same as the national average of 42%, that means 4 in 10 married brain injury survivors will get divorced, putting their compensation money at risk. 

You’re considered equal, but is it fair?

In the UK both partners in the marriage are treated equally, and so when marital assets are divided up, both people have to be in the position of being able to have a reasonable life. That means the courts will try to make it so both of you can afford to live and try to make sure you both have enough money for a new home. That sounds pretty fair, but what if the majority of the assets is your compensation which was supposed to pay for your therapy, care and loss of earnings for the rest of your life? Suddenly divorce can mean it’s even more difficult to cope as a brain injury survivor. 

The law does offer some protection (albeit a bit flimsy) but only if you have planned ahead to ringfence your compensation package in the event of a legal separation. Your first option is to put the money into a trust which can be accessed as you need it, although this does carry a monthly fee. It makes it less likely to be considered a marital asset so it could avoid it being a part of your divorce settlement.  You can set up a trust later if you wish, but if you do and suddenly ask for a divorce, it will be seen as a cynical move. The court will say you only opened the trust knowing that it was likely that you would motion for a divorce and that the trust was your way of hiding martial assets. Therefore, it will only has the chance to protect you if you move it into a trust after it’s been issued to you and the marriage continues for a significant time thereafter. However, as trusts are often used as a way to manage your money for a number of other reasons, a Judge still might decide to consider it a marital asset regardless. The second option is to have your partner sign a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement where they sign away any claim to that money. These work in theory, but they aren’t really part of the law here so it’s up to the Judge in your case as to whether they want to take it as read. Therefore, this method is not a guaranteed way to protect your money either, although most Judges probably would look favourably on it.  

But is it right that we have to even try to make decisions about our future in this way?

When claimants are issued with their compensation package, they are given information about trust funds. Unless they have an appointed power of attorney set up, they are left to decide if they want to use a trust, or just have the money deposited into their bank account. However, it is well known that often survivors struggle with decision making, so should it be up to them to make such an important choice? Leading brain injury charity Headway explains how survivors struggle in their factsheet Difficulties with decision making after brain injury: 

“People can be affected in different ways – some survivors may find it hard to make a decision at all, finding that even ‘simple’ decisions, such as what to wear, become very difficult to make. Some people become impulsive, making hasty decisions, apparently acting without thinking things through. Some people may find it difficult to think through the consequences of an action and so make decisions that are not in their best interest. Poor judgement in relationships, with money or in business can have devastating consequences for the brain injury survivor and their family. Some survivors may make a decision and have a plan of action, but it can still be difficult for them to follow through with the plan. It is as if their intention, or goal, becomes neglected. This can sometimes be because they become distracted by other tasks or activities. They may ‘forget’ to do things, not because they have completely forgotten about what needs to be done, but rather that it is difficult for them to keep the task in mind, such as taking medication or passing on a message. Self-awareness can also be affected by brain injury, so that the survivor is not aware of their problems. This is known as lack of insight. The survivor may fail to achieve important tasks, and others may consider their decisions as bad judgement. One of the first challenges to overcome is therefore related to the survivor achieving a degree of self-awareness and understanding of the problems they are experiencing.” 

Personally, I declined to use a trust fund and currently I’m not married. I’ve been with my partner James for 12 years (and counting) and I’m still waiting for him to pop the question! If he ever gets around to it, I guess I would have to ask him to sign a prenuptial, even though I trust him with my life and don’t think for a second that he would ask for half of my money. I didn’t put my money into a trust because I wanted to have full access to it and didn’t want to pay a monthly fee to those who would manage it. But if I’m honest I probably didn’t put that much thought into it. I went for the easy option, but whether it was the right decision is another question. 

Why didn’t anyone even test if I was capable of making that decision?

In the UK we are allowed to make our own decisions as long as we are deemed to have capacity. After witnessing my Dad got through the test several times as he deteriorated with Alzheimer’s I know more about this process than most. The test looks for your comprehension in general rather than if your decisions are good. You are allowed to make “unwise” decisions if you are deemed to have capacity and name the possible consequences of these actions. And I was never asked to complete this test as a survivor of a serious car accident, so I’m not sure how many brain injury survivors ever have their capacity accessed. Therefore, even if the next person thought it was “unwise” for me not to put my compensation into a trust, no one had even questioned if I was fit to make that decision. 

Here’s my question to you: 

Do you think it’s right that brain injury survivor’s compensation can be divided up in divorce? Or should the government change the law to protect the person the money was intended for? Currently most MP’s would argue that as there are options in place that we can choose to use i.e. trust fund or nuptial agreements (despite the fact that these are not a guarantee either), there isn’t much appetite in government to make any changes.  

I have to say that I personally don’t think compensation money should be considered a martial asset. I find it insulting that I either have to pay someone to manage my money or ask my loved one to sign something that might not even stand up in court. What a great way to enter married life, it’s like saying “I know this isn’t going to last and I definitely don’t trust you.” If the law was changed so you didn’t have to go through this process, that can of worms wouldn’t be dumped all over you. But maybe you have a different perspective on it. I’d love to hear what you think. Maybe you are the spouse of a brain injury survivor, how would you feel if you were told you couldn’t have the compensation package considered in your divorce? Maybe you gave up your career to care for them and therefore a divorce that doesn’t include that money would leave you with next to nothing. Tell me, I want to hear everyone’s side of the story. 

Is the law fair? Should compensation settlements form part of the divorce settlement?

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13 replies on “Are divorce settlements fair after a brain injury?”

Thanks so much Robin. I do think it’s a really important subject that feels like it hasn’t been looked into deeply enough by the powers that be.

This shows a weakness of our system.

I was divorced prior to my brain injury (thalamic infarct, 7 years ago) and lost 2/3 of my equity in a house I owned prior to even knowing my first wife which was supposed to be to help care for my 2 children; eventually this equity was squandered by her new husband who went bankrupt.

The point of me saying this is just to show that divorce has always been messy and unfair for many; however I am told it is better than it was in general.

I was also told, by Headway, after my stroke, that roughly 80% of marriages fail after a brain injury; which if correct makes finances a huge issue whether or not you have had a large payout.

It is totally unfair that what is deemed as a future payment of income to sustain a quality of life after a brain injury can be accessed by a spouse for their future.

Is it not also true that this division of assets can apply to couples who are not married? if both partners have contributed financially to the relationship?
If so, then those that have large sums for their care etc who are living with but not married need also to ring fence their future in whatever way they can.

I am now happily married but made sure our house is owned jointly but in a way that if one of us needs to go into care only half of the house value can be used for this, thus protecting half.

Even without a brain injury, these matters are confusing; better advice must be made available at the time of injury and repeated along the survival journey.

I believe that if you keep your finances separated as an unmarried couple, you don’t have to divide assets equally. This only changes depending on the type of mortgage you have and if you have a joint bank account. But yes, I do think the system needs to be reviewed.

This is a complicated one, I got divorced ten years ago, 6 years after my car accident.
It worked out that my ex wife was entitled to 45% of the value of the house I purchased with 1/2 of my compensation pay out. She didn’t try to get a share of the amount I had left which I needed considering I can not work.
I originally thought this was unfair as she was able to work but in retrospect she gave up any career prospects to look after me and our son, who I couldn’t do a lot with. Also she needed the money to provide our son with a place to live and a decent upbringing.
It’s a very complicated situation and I think the law needs reassessing but every case is so individual

Thanks for sharing your experience Steven. Yes it’s important that when the spouse has made sacrifices along the way that they are able to rebuild their lives too.

Wow ! that’s hard to even believe, that any modern-day justice system would take from the disabled to give to healthy. As if we don’t already have it stacked up against us they add to our hardships. Some members of the human race are just so morally corrupt its sad. But most of us are so much stronger than the average day to day person I’m sure we will survive and simply grow stronger.
I take my hat off to you Michelle.

Thanks Mark. Originally the law was to make sure women who were home makers, caring for the children, would be able to start again. And that makes sense. But I think it needs to be reviewed to put in extra measures for people who have settlements to help them with their disabilities.

I shared this with my son as I struggle with the changes in my life and find it extremely difficult to make an informed educated decision in one sweep. For some time now I have been taking things to him to help make an informed decision. It frustrated him his statement to me ” you were super mom before the injury and your not now”. The way you described the brain processing in this article was very clear while informative. I had forwarded it to him to read He really liked it and commented so(it is rare for him to comment).
Well written well informed. P.S. in U.S. the spouse has no claims on assets required before marriage be it inheritance or settlements. Now if a person were to combine their assets with their spouse in a marriage it would convolute the issue but the courts work hard at protecting people. Not always successful.

Thanks for sharing with me the US law, that’s very interesting. Here inheritances would also be included, regardless of when they have obtained.
I hope your son better understands now why you struggle with decisions now. Of course he found it confusing to see that change in you, but I hope he now can relate to you better.

I shared this with my son as I struggle with the changes in my life and find it extremely difficult to make an informed educated decision in one sweep. For some time now I have been taking things to him to help make an informed decision. It frustrated him his statement to me ” you were super mom before the injury and your not now”. The way you described the brain processing in this article was very clear while informative. I had forwarded it to him to read He really liked it and commented so(it is rare for him to comment).
Well written well informed. P.S. in U.S. the spouse has no claims on assets required before marriage be it inheritance or settlements. Now if a person were to combine their assets with their spouse in a marriage it would convolute the issue but the courts work hard at protecting people. Not always successful.

North Dakota is no different unfortunately my ex was able to continue working and make good money where I was kind of put out in the dust things were split 50-50 but no alimony etc. to me that was very wrong as I covered all his insurance for years and years the groceries plus I bought the house years ago it’s a disgrace against the injured person. I also had an attorney that was willing to just settle it off not knowing she was in a divorce of her own therefore her priorities were her own divorce to me she should’ve been disbarred.

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