Comments on: Clamming up about my brain injury stings relationships

By: michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk

michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 05:15:11 +0000

In reply to Amy Wirta. Are there any local support groups you could join? Other survivors would understand you and would find it helpful to swap experiences and tips with you.

By: michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk

michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 05:11:36 +0000

In reply to Ellen Andersen. Thanks Ellen this really helps. I sometimes think I'm so horrible and I'm pushing James away when I don't mean to. I guess we're both still adapting.

By: Ellen Andersen

Ellen Andersen — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 00:50:07 +0000

Michelle,
“Clamming up” as you call it, can be positive. It prevents us from hurting someone. Silence is okay. I’d suggest telling James that when you’re quiet, it may be because you just need time to come up with whatever you’re thinking. Tell him it’s not necessarily anything to do with him.

We TBI survivors are different than we used to be. There’s a “new normal” to adjust to. And it’s HARD and takes longer than we want it to. Always. Our family and friends will adapt over time and we will too. But that takes time too.

Hang in there. (I’m talking to myself here as much as I am to you and I’ve been recovering a lot longer than you have.

By: Amy Wirta

Amy Wirta — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 00:34:34 +0000

For me it is the opposite, I say whatever comes to mind. That, some of the time, can also be very hurtful. I say things before thinking about it, so there’s no filter. If I think about what I’m going to say first, I forget what I’m talking about! It is so much safer to email people, that way I can take my time and think about it first. It’s been almost 30 years since my accident, and within the last 5 years it has hit me like an atomic bomb.
We’ve moved around a lot, so I don’t have any close friends. I feel like I have to explain to everyone why I am the way I am, and my husband and son are tired of hearing about it. I need someone in my life to talk to beside my mom, since she won’t be around forever.