Comments on: Guest post: Rob Dunn on family’s denial of brain injury

By: Michelle #jumbledbrain

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Sat, 19 Jun 2021 16:53:47 +0000

In reply to Beverly Thomas. Sounds like you're going through a difficult but important process. Hugs xox

By: Beverly Thomas

Beverly Thomas — Sat, 19 Jun 2021 09:28:15 +0000

After reading your story, it sounds similar to mine. I too had a road accident when I was 10 back in 1984. Like you I was, as I put it patched up and sent back into the world. My physio was not specialised I remember going to a class that had old women and a boy who had broken his leg!! I had 6 months off school. But like you the proceeding years I developed determinination to be as good as my peers. However I am now breaking down the emotional wall I have built to hide my injury from the world.

By: bikerlifestyleu

bikerlifestyleu — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 18:56:20 +0000

Hi rob when i read ‘I can watch the same programme, over and over and over again’
i had a giggle to myself
i see it as my superpower, i know what films i like, but can’t remember the details or story, so watched so many films time and time and time and time again.
it’s a Super Power not a Deficit .

By: Lorna Tough

Lorna Tough — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 19:03:56 +0000

In reply to Michael Stanley.

Our struggles seem so similar, and yes, knowledge is power.

I leave you with this quote I now hold dear to my heart = The truth brings the past into the present and prepares us for the future.
That’s what truth does/ (Maya Angelou)

By: michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk

michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 18:31:29 +0000

In reply to Lorna Tough. I really hope that we can re-educate the world to stop making these mistakes with their children. They say children are actually very resilient and adaptable, but only when you take the time to tell them the truth.

By: michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk

michelle.munt@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 18:28:04 +0000

In reply to Michael Stanley. Another sad story of how families can get it so wrong ?

By: Michael Stanley

Michael Stanley — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 17:52:32 +0000

Rob, Thanks for sharing. I can definitely relate. My TBI went undiagnosed for almost 58 years (I’m 66 now). I fell off a playground slide at age 5 onto a hard blacktop surface (to me, one of the biggest achievements of the 20th century was the realization that concrete is probably not the best choice of playground surfaces, ranking right behind the discovery of the automobile and aeroplane). Apparently because I didn’t show any external signs of injury, no one thought there could be any internal damage (realize this is 1956 before MRI’s, CAT Scans, or really much brain trauma awareness and treatment).
Unfortunately my father didn’t realize that my resulting “abnormal” behavior was symptomatic of a brain injury and concluded that childhood rebellion and self will was an accurate diagnosis and in those days corporal punishment was the best behavioral remedy. Only it didn’t work, but not for a lack of “effort” on his part. It wasn’t till I ran away from home at age 16 that the physical and emotional abuse stopped…from him.
One thing that I realized from very early on after my brain injury is that my struggle was not just with trust issues with my parents and authority figures – being punished for doing things that I didn’t understand were wrong because my brain didn’t process things properly anymore, but that I had trust issues with MYSELF. My own brain, my ego, my mind was leading me astray without my permission or knowledge and getting me into trouble. Talk about confusion and choas. Being a toddler is challenging enough, having to learn new skills, learning to make decisions, but to be a child who is being physically and emotionally abused and forsaken for what he does not understand or willingly choose as a result of a TBI is a recipe for an emotionally dysfunctional adolescent and an irresponsible, emotionally disabled, distraught and decimated adult- which I became. But now that I know the real reason why I was the way I was and that I wasn’t at fault makes it easier to live with my past and present reality (and to forgive those who abused me thinking they were somehow “helping” me). Knowledge really is power.

By: Lorna Tough

Lorna Tough — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 17:16:25 +0000

Dear Rob,

It would appear you and I share similar families. I am three months off turning 60. 16 months ago I was informed by my doctor I had suffered a near-drowning when I was 2. There was also a severe head injury and I was in a coma for 3 weeks.
For years I asked my family if something had happened to me, I felt “odd”, but was merely told I was being a drama queen. There have been further “concussions” in the intervening years, none of which I followed through medically, so further damage to a very sensitive, under-developed brain.
Things are beginning to make sense now, the deep depressions from nowhere, the speech aphasia, the no holds barred honesty I was so proud of but now cringe in hindsight.
My siblings still deny it ever happened despite it being all over my medical notes – why was I never told?????? I am angry, I could have protected myself from further damage, like you I question how different a life could I have had ????? Betrayal by those you love and trust …… WHY?
Yes, we have done brilliantly getting this far without the rehabilitation which was our right. Yes, we have a right to our anger and despair. Yes, we should feel a sense of pride that we have overcome such a level of adversity that so easily could have been so much worse.
I raise a toast to you Rob, well done – your resilience befriended you and brought you thus far. Big hugs xxx

By: Rob

Rob — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 10:00:58 +0000

Hi Joanne

Thanks for your kinds words and support.

I sometimes think about how different I might have been if my brain injury had been looked into in more detail at an earlier stage. (Well quite often if truth be told!)

But, there’s nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is make the best of the understanding of I now have, thanks to neuropsychologists and occupational therapists.

Whilst, it is sometimes frustrating to see how easily people/colleagues respond to queries, etc., and thinking I could have/should have been like that. I have to let it go, and appreciate the situation I am in now, and work with my brain injury, not against it. And be proud of all of my achievements.

Kind wishes,

Rob

By: Joanne Wood

Joanne Wood — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 21:14:40 +0000

Hello Rob, wow you are a warrior!
What a difficult time you have had all those years, knowing something wasn’t right, then having to deal with it all later. I wonder if your family had looked into your brain injury if you would be any different? You seem to be a resilient and have adapted so much in your life before getting the professional help, that’s amazing!
Unfortunately unless you know what it’s like living with a brain injury, people have no idea of the daily struggles, people assume a lot, because you look ok.
My family are great, they’ve seen me at my worst and know when I am struggling. Friends are different, many times if I am struggling in an situation, they seem to think just turn the music off, or go and get some fresh air and you will be fine, I’ve given up explaining now, that everything has a knock on effect and the damage is done now, I need to go and lie down away from everything and I will probably feel like this for days now.
I like that you are proud of how far you’ve come, we can sometimes forget this. Best wishes. Joanne