My family more so than anyone else! I feel their shame of me and they try to hide it. But I am better about it than I was a few months ago so I am making progress. I actually hope to make a blog about TBI from Domestic Violence and with CPTSD. I really could use any help I can get!

But thank you for this blog! It has made me feel like there are people that get me! Thank you Thank you!

While I am greatful for the abilities I do retain like concepts come easier since that day, I have to constantly revisit all the basics for equations and graphs which used to simply be available from childhood memorization. While I tell myself it is great brainwork… I cannot understand why I have lost the ability to memorize these math rules especially as often as I use them.

I do this when I have to set an alarm for getting somewhere early in the morning, appointment, on time. I start by writing time I must be there then work backwards (can’t do this in my head as easily before): must leave by X, must allow extra 10 mins if poss = less stress/allows for running late/traffic jams (yes I can drive!), then X time to allow me to have breakfast, wake up (VERY slow in mornings), decide/prepare food for later because I’ll be too tired. then see what time I must get up = 2 alarms. Sometimes if noisy outside (my home has paper walls) in night I put earplugs in but I HATE them (and they fall out) and can’t if must hear alarms.

Therefore I HATE all appointments at a particular time and especially before 10.30am. But often people/places refuse to accommodate my needs or put me down when I DO turn up but haven’t slept nearly enough, I’m PROUD to turn up EVERY time but especially after too little sleep = to fit in with THEIR times = as we with brain injury must do SO much = adapt to THEM. Should be the other way round and they fit into OUR needs – but you try telling them and they say ‘you’re too demanding’, ‘you expect/want too much’ and ‘you exaggerate what you want and just SAY it’s what you need’ = all so wrong and so cruel. If only they knew how our lives REALLY are = thank you for writing about it Michelle and for EDUCATING!

Yes I too have got appointments wrong. I have turned up on the wrong day AND the wrong time! Who knows what my brain thought it was doing. I think it just wanted to embarrass me.

I think I need a cheat sheet! I like the way you have devised a solution of your own ?

Now even when I write sums down and try to do them I make really stupid mistakes and keep getting different answers. Also sometimes I can’t think what the sum must do is: divide by or multiply, it varies. SUCH hard work now (as lots is) that was SO easy before my brain injury. It upsets me plus the fatigue from doing it makes me sweat with stress, get cross, get sad then often cry coz have overdone it. AND I have to eat more because the brain=work with broken brain uses far more energy! I get very cold/shaky after maths+ until I eat = low blood sugar?

I sometimes turn up for appointments at wrong time: done it at least twice arrived ONE HOUR before = why?! I hate having to be somewhere at a particular time = mega stress. I have to watch clock all the time and sometimes it stops (time doesn’t move) but other times it goes SO fast and I’ll be late.

Yup: numbers – and bit of dyslexia words/letters and not remembering how to spell words I always knew – and meanings, often not sure now so have to look up. Constant daily (for life now?) nightmare! Maybe if we’d got early rehab we’ be doing far better now? And pushing my brain too hard now breaks it = I fall to bits then cry with exhaustion. Like a muscle: brain gets broken if misused/over-taxed and over-stressed then it works even worse = EVERYTHING even more difficult: DON’T push us TOO much nor too fast and when I cry, say STOP = they must! But often I don’t realise until too late = still, after 11 years.

Yes dates are an issue for me too! I have to check things so many times as I so regularly make stupid mistakes.