I can’t just seize the opportunity.

It’s not often that my partner James decides to go to a Football match, as the team he supports aren’t local to us. (I know my American friends refer to this sport as Soccer, but seeing as the English started it as far back as the 12th Century I will be using it’s proper name.) His beloved Manchester City are the best part of 200 miles from us. However, they were playing Tottenham Hotspur on Saturday, who this session are using Wembley stadium as their home ground whilst they rebuild their own. With a capacity of 90,000, it is the biggest in the country, and being in London it’s not too far from us. With it’s ample seating, James found that as long as he didn’t mind sitting with the home supporters, there were still tickets available. He really wanted to see the match as Manchester city were on the brink of winning the Premiership title.  Previously I always went with him as I hate missing out on the atmosphere. But this time I didn’t.

Why I had to watch it on TV on my own.

There are several reasons why I had to stay home for this one:

1. No filter – Over the years I have sat amongst the rival teams supporters. It’s actually quite interesting to hear their comments, particularly on the referees decisions when it’s a difficult call. But this does require you to keep your own thoughts to yourself. I mean you are effectively sat amongst “the enemy” and it’s not a good idea to antagonise them as you’re very outnumbered. But my brain injury means at times my filter fails me, so I can’t be trusted to not give the game away.
2. Noise sensitivity – Massive excitable crowds can be incredibly noisey. It is common for the fans at Premiere league matches to be in excess of 150 decibels. Just to put that into perspective, that is equivalent to standing 25 meters from a jet during take off and can cause the eardrum to rupture. Any overstimulation can be unbearable for brain injury survivors, but even with ear plugs, this would be a step too far.
3. Anxiety –  Being in crowds is difficult enough, but animated Football fans are on another level. I probably would die of my own self induced stress.
4. Mobility – Once a game has finished there is a mass exitus which is effectively a stampede of thousands of people. As I still have a limp and can’t walk fast, I would be frightened to take my chances as the throng of people rush out of the stadium to the transport links. I imagine I would just get crushed.
5. Fatigue – I’d had a visitor the day before, and whilst we had a nice time, it takes me days to recover from anything. So I was shattered and needed to sleep, even though I hadn’t been anywhere or stayed up late.