I’m sure I don’t need to explain what a bad brain day is to other brain injury survivors. Pretty much it can mean anything where your brain is misbehaving and distorting your thinking process. Often we will refer to it when we realise that we are struggling with something such as reading, problem solving, remembering details, or something like that. These can be frustrating and distressing. But then there are the days when you know you’re not at your best but you don’t realise just how bad you are. One of which I was reminded of the other day….

How a bad brain day hit me at the wrong time:

My partner James told me he was having lunch with a former work colleague and asked if I could give them both a lift to the restaurant next weekend. Of course I said I would. And then he told me to be careful as I drive round a particular mini roundabout which has an awful dip on one side, as last time I gave them a lift I almost had an accident there. The memory of that day came flooding back, and how I hadn’t felt at my best that day…..

I knew I hadn’t had much sleep as I’d been ill in the night. But I was determined that it shouldn’t change the fact that I was going to give them a lift. Besides, after dropping them off I could go back to bed and snooze to my heart’s content. James said they could get a taxi but I wouldn’t hear of it. Just as we set off I realised I was worse than I thought.

My left leg shook each time I used the clutch pedal. (I drive a manual car, or stick shift as my american friends call it.) I knew the shaking was my nervous system and was an indication that my brain injury was complaining. However, as I’ve said before in 7 Executive dysfunction challenges after brain injury, when my brain is struggling it can impair my judgement and lead to bad decisions. On that day I decided not to tell James I’d noticed I wasn’t well, and continued the journey anyway. I didn’t tell him because I knew he’d tell me to stop, and I really wanted to do a favour for him on that day. He is always doing so much for me so I wanted to repay him in this small way.