First, and I learned this from the late Dr. Don Kirkley, who taught public speaking at the Pentagon, the key to effective speaking is….hesitation. Pause. No more than 6 words at a time without a pause. Even less….than six… will work…nicely.

That will give the audience an opportunity to process what you’ve said and will convey confidence. ALL great speakers pause. Regardless if you liked their politics….JFK, Clinton, Obama, Paul Harvey, all great speakers…pause.

Also, it means you are speaking less, which can mean less stress for you. If you use hesitation correctly, your audience will cling to every word.

 

To prevent me from speaking too fast, and sounding nervous, I learned to emphasize the last sound of each word I speak. Was taught to use enough voice. MANY actors, who stutter, use(d) a full voice to overcome their stutter. That includes James Earl Jones, John Wayne and a host of others.

 

I always do something to make my audience laugh at the first of my programs, it takes away some of my jitters. Making an audience laugh creates a bond. Since I overcame this fear, speaking to a group is a rush. It’s allowed me to conduct seminars/ workshops on a national level. So….pause…last sound….use a full voice.

 

As mentioned earlier, my marriage lasted 15 years. During our fifth year, our second son was born. He was born with no problems. At 3.5 months he was diagnosed with cataracts. On his first birthday, he was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and enlarged liver. He lived six more months and died in my wife’s arms. The death of a child can play havoc on a marriage. I joined a support group, The Compassionate Friends (TCF), which I continue to attend. Hearing from others, who have walked my path, helped more than words can express.

I was able to publish a book, Rise Above: Conquering Adversities, detailing how I survived a traumatic brain injury, overcame the fear of public speaking, and survived the death of a son.