If you have been reading my blog for a while, you might have noticed I can be over ambitious. I’m sure there were examples of me doing this before my brain injury, but I’ve definitely got worse. Most likely it’s because I haven’t accepted that I need to pace myself more now. Whilst I might be willing, I need to recognise my “able” is a bit deflated and has shrunk.

I aim a little too high.

Some days I think as long as I’m not too tired to start with, I can still do everything I could before. And in some ways that might be true. But it could take longer, the result might not be up to the same standard, or I might never complete it. Whilst I can write this and recognise it now, my rigid thinking can make that harder when I’m in the moment.

I’m banned from buying flat pack items.

I have always been a “have a go hero”. So when I’m thinking of home improvements I’m not put off when furniture is flat pack. I’ve actually always enjoyed it. I know nothing about carpentry or joinery, so this is as close it to I will ever get. But I love the sense of achievement you get when it’s finished.

But since my brain injury there are several reasons why I shouldn’t try unsupervised.

• No attention to detail – I don’t read the instruction properly, or study the pictures hard enough. I have forced dowling rods into holes meant for screws, and then wondered why the screw doesn’t fit in the dowling hole.
• Lack of strength – Often putting these projects together means throwing some crazy shapes whilst you try to hold things together in unimaginable positions.  But that’s even more difficult when your injury has left you much weaker than previously.
• Pain – Whilst I’m used to dealing with my “regular pain levels”, embarking on these projects is different. I can intensify them so much that I’m good for nothing for days after.
• Fatigue – Doing something so physically and mentally challenging drains me so quickly. When I started it might have felt like a good idea, but that doesn’t last long.

Learning to pace myself better.

This week I have been repainting the garage door. That would have been a breeze for me before. But I have accepted I need to do each stage one day at a time. Sanding, cleaning, painting the door and painting the wood surround have all been done on different days. Alright, the British weather might have helped to convince me to stop when a new shower passes by. But even I can admit this pace is better for me.