Guest post: “Mind full of jumbles” – Brain injury survivor, Robin

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 15:46:44 +0000

Robin Luftig was a successful author before her brain tumour, and even since it’s removal she has continued to write. In Robin’s upcoming book, “Ten Days to Live: Healing from a Broken Brain, Broken Bones, and a Broken Heart,” she shares the dark days after April 1, 2011 when an ER doctor said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Luftig, but you have a tumor on your brain about the size of my fist. Do you want a priest? Could I call the hospital Chaplain for you?”

Find Robin’s website and blog at www.robinluftig.com.

If you’ve been following me for any time at all, you’ll know I’ve had a bit of a comeback from a pretty devastating surgery–brain surgery. Hard to believe, but my surgery was in April 2011. That means I’ve been dealing with a mind full of jumbles for almost ten years.

It’s thrilling to speak to groups of women when I have the jumbles. While it does bring its obvious challenges when I forget a name or lose my train of thought, I am always encouraged by the grace that others give me.

Trying to write after brain surgery brings challenges as well. Like most writers, I deal with the distractions of social media and rabbit holes. But add to it the task of trying to stay razor-focused on the task at hand when your mind is doing summersaults.

Jumbles Give Me Reason to Smile

When I write, I enjoy the seclusion of my own office. There, I can best control my jumbles. There, find the structure I need to do what I need to do.

And isn’t that what it’s like for each of us … finding a way to do what we need to do?

Each of us has a struggle … a type of mind jumble. Maybe yours in a past that keeps you from reaching for the future. Your mind is filled with all the reasons you can’t succeed. Or maybe your mind is filled with comparisons. Why you think others are more qualified than yourself.

Stop the Jumbles

Stop what you’re doing and take your Jumbles captive. Focus on what’s at hand. Figure out what is your driving force. Seek the face of Jesus in your task. What does he say about achieving your goals? He has lots to say:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

Take a deep breath and relax. God is bigger than the Jumbles. If there’s a burden in your heart, dealing with a mind full of Jumbles will not stop what God’s burned into your heart.

What say you?

What do you wonder about? Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

How do you deal with the "jumbles"? Do you find people are patient with you?

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Lost confidence after a brain injury & how I got it back

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 11:33:11 +0000

After my brain injury, and I became aware enough to be able to recognise my struggles, I lost confidence in myself. I sunk into depression and would cry everyday. My mental health had taken such a battering I couldn’t understand why my partner James would want me. So I kept telling him I could go move in with my Dad, seeing as he would benefit from some support due to his age. But James kept telling me that’s the last thing he wanted.

I was missing being me.

No matter what nice things he said or did, it made little impact on my self worth. All I could see was a liability, and I thought he deserved better. Terrible thoughts and ideas would go through my mind as I tried to find a way to take back control of my life. I was a mess. I had been depressed before, but this was different. How could there ever be a light at the end of this dark tunnel?

I’d never fully appreciated before that I was in my own way confident previously. As I could be shy at times, and you could hardly call me an extrovert, I thought that was a lack of confidence. Wrong.

After pulling myself apart for everything, I started to use mindfulness to try to see myself in a different light. Alright, so I might not be the same as I was any more, but that didn’t mean I was a bad person or had nothing to offer. I’d always been a good listener, even if I didn’t have all the answers, people were still opening up to me despite my flaws. That takes trust, and in time I realised these people must see something in me that I wasn’t acknowledging.

Maybe I had something to say? Starting a conversation can help people talk about how they are feeling.

And so my blog was born, my lost confidence restored. If you’re still with me and reading this, thank you. Sometimes I worry when I suddenly see less people are reading and sharing my posts. I think “Oh no, do they just want me to shut up? Am I not adding any value anymore? Should I stop?”

I don’t think I will ever be able to stop that little self doubting voice from saying her 2 pennies worth, but that’s just part of what makes me human. I have the gift of empathy, so I’m always trying to see it from the other person’s point of view. But that can be more like a sentence when you are forever trying to second guess and always assuming the worst. However I have learned how to tell that little inner critic to put a sock in it when she pipes up. Believe me when I tell you that she’s a rebel and doesn’t take kindly to being told what to do, but there is a way to make her give in.

I know this is a skill that many people would benefit from, and so that is why I now coach other brain injury survivors and caregivers on now they can get to this point too. Although this experience has been harder than I can ever put into words, I’m thankful that it has lead me to a point where I can do more to help others enjoy their lives more.

Yes I want it

Have you lost confidence? What do you do to give yourself that little boost when you need it?

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