indecision Archives - Jumbledbrain https://www.jumbledbrain.com/tag/indecision/ Discover - Empower - Thrive Sat, 07 Jan 2023 20:14:55 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://i0.wp.com/www.jumbledbrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/cropped-tab-logo.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 indecision Archives - Jumbledbrain https://www.jumbledbrain.com/tag/indecision/ 32 32 115417566 My first trip away with a brain injury ends in embarrassment https://www.jumbledbrain.com/holiday-brain-injury-fail/ https://www.jumbledbrain.com/holiday-brain-injury-fail/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:46:12 +0000 https://www.jumbledbrain.com/?p=658 Following my brain injury I didn’t take much to make me anxious. So the first summer holiday after my accident, my partner and I decided to stay in this country. We were going on a short tour of the North East of England. We’d already missed out on the holiday we had booked to Las […]

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Following my brain injury I didn’t take much to make me anxious. So the first summer holiday after my accident, my partner and I decided to stay in this country. We were going on a short tour of the North East of England. We’d already missed out on the holiday we had booked to Las Vegas because that was due only 1 month after my accident. Whilst I have been before and travelled to the states many times, that would have been James’ first experience. Plus he was supposed to be travelling ahead of me for business, and then I would join him later. But he had to tell his work he wouldn’t go because of me. So I mean no disrespect to Northern England, but it’s a different kettle of fish to Vegas.

But this was the safest and sensible option, as even the thought of dealing with an airport was too much for me. We had a few activities planned, such as seeing the seals living on the coast, and visiting a bird sanctuary. As a huge animal lover these were brilliant for me. One day we went to Whitby, which was the most Northerly place we were visiting, and therefore the furthest from home. James particularly wanted to go there as the coastal town is famous for its outstanding scampi. The UK was experiencing the hottest summer for the last 30 years at that time. But as my nervous system often told me I was cold I chose to wear Jeans rather than shorts.

That was my fatal error. Even I could feel it how hot as it was, as the temperature that day was around 30 C or 86 F. I was really uncomfortable in my stupid skinny Jeans, and it was making me grumpy and exhausted. Most holiday makers were loving the unusually good weather, but I had a face like a smacked arse. James suggested I buy some shorts to change into, so we tried to find some. Whitby is a traditional place geared towards its fishing industry, and so it doesn’t have that many clothing retailers.

The 1st holiday my partner & I had following my brain injury ended in disaster. Although we tried to be sensible, my stupid brain couldn't be reasoned with....
The 1st holiday my partner & I had following my brain injury ended in disaster. Although we tried to be sensible, my stupid brain couldn't be reasoned with.

But I was stuck in my ways, and hated the idea of having to spend £30 on a pair of horrible shorts I would never wear again. I was being difficult, and even when James said he would pay for them, I wouldn’t even try any on. What was the point, how would I get changed once I’d bought them. James tried to give a solution, but my rigid brain couldn’t handle it. “Just get changed in the changing room and wear them to the till and tell them you are buying them and wearing them immediately.”

Well that was it, full meltdown mode had been activated. I’d always been respectful of rules. But post brain injury the idea of of doing something so unusual, just blew my mind. I went on and on about how I couldn’t do that and made him feel like he couldn’t do anything right. So even he gave up as he couldn’t take the stress I was causing. We went back to the hotel and he hadn’t even sampled the scampi. He was prepared to drive the 4 hours home right then, but we stayed the night and left in the morning. That was still 3 days earlier then was planned.

I was thankful to get home although I did feel bad for ruining things. But imagine if that had happened in Vegas! Getting an early flight home because I was having a paddy about something ridiculous would have been expensive and even more embarrassing and stressful.

The following year we went to Rhodes and stayed in a quiet resort were we had a private pool. That went much better as there were no crowds and the pool meant I could regulate my temperature much better. But we were only able to do it because I wasn’t as crazy as I was the year before. Otherwise airport security might have thought I looked anxious because I had a bomb. (Alright so that’s probably a bit over the top, but lets just say it wouldn’t have worked.)

Other articles you may like:

What holiday nightmares have you had after a brain injury? What are your tips on how to cope?

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]]> https://www.jumbledbrain.com/holiday-brain-injury-fail/feed/ 3 658 7 Executive dysfunction challenges after brain injury https://www.jumbledbrain.com/tbi-executive-dysfunction-after-brain-injury/ https://www.jumbledbrain.com/tbi-executive-dysfunction-after-brain-injury/#comments Fri, 30 Sep 2016 11:23:38 +0000 https://www.jumbledbrain.com/?p=348 We all have that friend who is really indecisive and just goes along with your suggestion, but you are never really sure it that’s what they want.  Yes, that’s right, it’s me with my executive dysfunction. Before my brain injury I would have described myself as opinionated. However I would be open minded enough to […]

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We all have that friend who is really indecisive and just goes along with your suggestion, but you are never really sure it that’s what they want.  Yes, that’s right, it’s me with my executive dysfunction.

Before my brain injury I would have described myself as opinionated. However I would be open minded enough to consider others views, and still tactful even if I didn’t completely agree. Well that person is still in there, just took a wrong turning. (I always did have issues with my left and right.)

The frontal lobe, which is directly behind the forehead, is responsible  for the brains executive function. Due to it’s position, casualties of falls, road traffic accidents and sports injuries, commonly sustain a brain injury in this region as it impacts with the skull.

Some of you might have come to realise that supermarkets have become my nemesis for a variety of reasons. But being bombarded with choices is definitely one of them. Executive dysfunction makes those choices feel more like a trick question. The supermarket visit has become a very regular activity of modern life. But it challenges those with brain injuries in ways other people wouldn’t expect.

  • Low motivation/ability for completing tasks 

    Sometimes it can be hard to even write the shopping list because you have to decide what you need. If it’s not in front of me, I might not remember it’s missing! So I just don’t want to do it.

  • Disorganised

    In some UK supermarkets their trolleys are chained together and can only be released by putting in a pound coin (you get it back when you return the trolley). But so many times I have spent my last pound coin without thinking, and not realised until I’m at the Supermarket.

  • Rigid ideas 

    I always think I’m in the way and trying to get out of the way. But actually maybe the other shoppers are just busy in their own world. They haven’t even noticed me, let alone be bothered about where I’m standing.

  • Impulsive behaviour 

    Supermarkets are designed to harness the power of the impulse buyer. When you have a brain injury it can be torture. I’ve never used it before, but what if I’ll need it soon for something? Even though I don’t know how to use it I better buy it, just in case!

  • Controlling emotions

    I think most people at some point have got frustrated during a Supermarket visit. However when you have a brain injury it can feel like the world is ending. So many times I have had to just abandon ship, and get out!

  • Struggle to socialise 

    Usually the staff try to engage in some polite conversation as is customary. But a brain injury can mean you can’t read the situation properly. What to you mean, “Do I want any cash back? I haven’t given you any yet to give back to me?”

  • Short attention span 

    You struggle to concentrate, and there are so many things in one space demanding your attention. Making you miss things all the time. I have walked marathons looking for things as I just never saw them!

After a brain injury executive dysfunction can lead to decision fatigue. This is more than just being indecisive. Here's the 7 ways it can affect a person.
My blog on living with brain injury: This is why everyday activities such as shopping can be so difficult for brain injury survivors.

All of this can lead to decision fatigue. This makes your brain is so overwhelmed you are more likely to make a bad decision.

So try not to be too frustrated with that indecisive friend who has a brain injury. Sometimes you have to choose your battles in life, and for us that can mean trusting someone else to decide. It’s a compliment really that we chose to leave it with you.

But it can get better. You can read why sometimes it is better to try in Avoiding problems: I must stop burying my head (inc injured brain) in the sand.

Other articles you may like:

Do you struggle with executive dysfunction? What other "normal" activities do you find a strain?

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