TBI: Lost confidence

After my brain injury, and I became aware enough to be able to recognise my struggles, I lost confidence in myself. I sunk into depression and would cry everyday. My mental health had taken such a battering I couldn’t understand why my partner James would want me. So I kept telling him I could go move in with my Dad, seeing as he would benefit from some support due to his age. But James kept telling me that’s the last thing he wanted.

Lost confidence following my brain injury

I was missing being me

No matter what nice things he said or did, it made little impact on my self worth. All I could see was a liability, and I thought he deserved better. Terrible thoughts and ideas would go through my mind as I tried to find a way to take back control of my life. I was a mess. I had been depressed before, but this was different. How could there ever be a light at the end of this dark tunnel?

I’d never fully appreciated before that I was in my own way confident previously. As I could be shy at times, and you could hardly call me an extrovert, I thought that was a lack of confidence. Wrong.

 Lost confidence after brain injury

After pulling myself apart for everything, I started to use mindfulness to try to see myself in a different light. Alright, so I might not be the same as I was any more, but that didn’t mean I was a bad person or had nothing to offer. I’d always been a good listener, even if I didn’t have all the answers, people were still opening up to me despite my flaws. That takes trust, and in time I realised these people must see something in me that I wasn’t acknowledging.

Lost confidence after brain injury

Maybe I had something to say? Starting a conversation can help people talk about how they are feeling.

And so my blog was born, my lost confidence restored. If you’re still with me and reading this, thank you. Sometimes I worry when I suddenly see less people are reading and sharing my posts. I think “Oh no, do they just want me to shut up? Am I not adding any value anymore? Should I stop?”

I don’t think I will ever be able to tell that little self doubting voice to be quiet, but that’s just part of what makes me human. I have the gift of empathy, so I’m always trying to see it from the other persons point of view. But that can be more like a sentence when you are forever trying to second guess and always assuming the worst.

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Have you lost confidence? What do you do to give yourself that little boost when you need it?

If this has struck a cord with you, or you think it will give others hope, please pass it on and share.

My brain injury affected my mental health. I lost confidence in myself through my frustrations with my struggles. But I did find a way to change things....


8 Replies to “TBI: Lost confidence”

  1. Love it! I am the same. I waiver between liking the new me, and feeling inferior, but I am going to start mindfulness training. Perhaps it will help me as well.

  2. Hi Michelle – I am following your blog as my 45 year old son lives with me and he has a brain injury after a very nasty skateboarder vs car accident 3 years ago. I have shared this to facebook and tagged my son in. Anything and everything can be a help. He suffered from depression before his accident and of course having a brain injury hasnt helped. His main problems are he is constantly tired and sleeps 14 plus hours a day.

  3. I have that same confidence issue. I used to be cocky confident…..Now, I worry that I am not reading a situation right, that I may appear strange, or overstay my welcome. Heck, I even worry that I comment too much on your blogs, yet I love reading them. Please keep it up! Your words are valued by many!

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