dealing with confabulation Archives - Jumbledbrain

“Yes, I know you…”, or do I? Brain injury ruins my memory again.

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Wed, 07 Jun 2017 13:17:54 +0000

Recently I went to the wedding of an old school friend, who I had only recently got back in touch with. As we had moved in different circles for years, I expected to know only another school friend and her husband. But actually it was more complicated than that. I wasn’t sure if my brain injury was playing it’s old tricks on me again.

Should I remember you?

It was easy to see who was the mother of the bride, due to the strong family resemblance with my old school friend. When I went to speak to the mother of the bride, as she is partially sighted she had to ask for my name. Immediately a flash of recognition came across her face, as she was able to place who I was. She was charming, and warm, just like her daughter. But I didn’t like to say that I couldn’t remember ever meeting her before. The bride later told me that her mum said I hadn’t changed a bit. (Seeing as about 15 years has passed, that’s very nice of her to say so.) But I’m not sure if she just had seen photos of me, or if we had met all those years ago.

Since then I have had moments when I can picture the mother of the bride at school. But this could be just confabulations that my brain is putting together. My memory is so woolly, that I’m always trying to fill the gaps with “memories” that have come back to me. So I can’t be sure which are real. Read more about what confabulations are in Confabulation is not lying. False memories due to brain injury.

Meeting so many people, it’s hard to retain details.

I know most people would say it can be tough to remember names of people you have only just met. But on top of that I was trying to remember what I had already said to who. Several times just as I asked a question, I would suddenly realise that they already answered that. I hope they didn’t think I wasn’t listening. I was, it’s just there was so much going on that my brain kept filing things in the wrong place.

The couple of people who knew me well from years ago, said they wouldn’t have spotted I was different. So I can’t expect all the other guests to know if I say something daft, it’s just a brain fart.

Even when the grooms sister told me she had suffered a stroke a few years ago, I didn’t mention my traumatic brain injury. As it still affects her mobility, and probably many more things, I didn’t want her to think I was suggesting I know everything. I realise this is stupid, and it’s highly unlikely she would have taken it that way. But I was nervous and was keen to ensure I didn’t cause offence. As I explained in Suddenly my filter has abandoned me after brain injury, I can put my foot in it too often. Because I struggle to recognise what is and isn’t tactless, my way of dealing with it as just to not say it. Better to be safe than sorry.

But I made it work.

As James and I are due to be going on holiday in just a few days, he couldn’t take the time off work to attend the wedding. But as I was so delighted that she had invited me, even though me hadn’t been in contact for years, I went on my own. It was a 2.5 hour drive to the wedding, and I decided to go down that morning and drive back on the same day. That’s a tall order for anyone. I planned on at least waiting for the cutting of the cake and the first dance, before slinking off.

By then I was already zoning out, and the loud music pretty much finished me off. So I said my goodbyes and slid out to my car that doesn’t have a working stereo. I must be the only person I know who would put up with a stereo that doesn’t work. But actually I find driving takes so much attention, I can’t listen to anything at the same time anyway.

Once home I pretty much collapsed. But I’m really glad I went. Although my brain injury did it’s best to make a fool of me, I think I got away with it.

Do you ever struggle to recognise if you know someone or not following your brain injury? Do you style it out, like I did, or just be honest and tell them?

The post “Yes, I know you…”, or do I? Brain injury ruins my memory again. appeared first on Jumbledbrain.

Confabulation is not lying. False memories due to brain injury.

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Mon, 24 Oct 2016 12:05:06 +0000

Memories are a strange thing. We put so much trust into them. When someone accuses us of something we didn’t do, we are offended. But what if our memory just isn’t right, and we have a false memory of the same event? This is confabulation, which isn’t uncommon after a brain injury.

Catherine E. Myers from Memory Loss and the Brain, describes it like this:

“Confabulation is a memory disorder that may occur in patients who have sustained damage to both the basal forebrain and the frontal lobes, as after an aneurysm of the anterior communicating artery. Confabulation is defined as the spontaneous production of false memories: either memories for events which never occurred, or memories of actual events which are displaced in space or time. These memories may be elaborate and detailed. Some may be obviously bizarre, as a memory of a ride in an alien spaceship; others are quite mundane, as a memory of having eggs for breakfast, so that only a close family member can confirm that the memory is in fact false.” http://www.memorylossonline.com/glossary/confabulation.html

There’s one thing knowing that following a brain injury you can be forgetful. But when what you think you remember might not be the truth, then how are you supposed to feel?

Provoked confabulation

Patients can most commonly have a provoked confabulation, which is when they are trying to answer a question.Therefore it’snot something they have been thinking about before hand. But try to recall in order to answer the question.

I first realised that this sometimes was happening to me when a Neurologist, asked me to describe my journey home from The Royal London Hospital. This was after I had been an inpatient for 10 days following a car accident which caused my brain injury. Easy. I recounted how it was a fairly bright, dry day, and that I talked throughout the trip, pleased with having company. But then he asked my chauffeur that day, my partner James, if that sounded right. No, it was pretty much nonsense. He said I had been extremely quiet, to the point he wasn’t sure if I was still awake. And being after 4 pm in late December, it was dark outside.

Spontaneous confabulation

This is much less common, and is where without being asked about it, a patient will recall an untrue event. At this stage I can’t think of any examples I have of this happening to me. It is much less common, but as all memories feel real, it takes a witness to be able to confirm or deny them. James would be your man for that, but he’s at work now so that question will go unanswered for now.

Autobiographical memory

Usually it is the autobiographical memory which is being affected by neurological issues. This type of memory is how we categorise our own life experiences. Therefore we are used to putting our confidence in them. But this is why it’s important that people understand that confabulating is not lying. The suffer genuinely believes the story they are telling is real. They are not trying to mislead anyone, so a calm approach is needed in this situation.

Dealing with confabulation

When you are talking to someone who is confabulating, there are 3 things you need to understand:

It can be a way of the patient making sense of the situation. Although inaccurate, if can be comforting to them to feel they have a handle on things.
Personal identity is important to us all, but if your autobiological memory is letting you down, how do you reconcile this? Well, maybe that’s why these false memories happen, perhaps we want to understand who we are and where we fit in.
It’s a form of interaction. If you don’t remember much, what do you talk about? Humans are social creatures and we all need to feel we have something to add.

So taking these 3 points into consideration, it’s usually better to not correct the patient. Imagine how distressing it would be if someone told you we all live on Mars and Earth died 200 years ago. Clearly that isn’t the case, but that confusion is what it feels like for someone who has just been told their confabulation is wrong. Usually, like my rose tinted memory of my journey home from the hospital, it’s harmless anyway. So if you can, just bear with us.

When people can’t see what’s wrong with you, they can jump to the wrong conclusion easily. For more examples of what this is like to go Living with invisible disability caused brain injury.

How does confabulation affect you? What would you like others to understand about it?

The post Confabulation is not lying. False memories due to brain injury. appeared first on Jumbledbrain.