We all have our off days. But it’s probably fair to say brain injury survivors have more than their fair share. Currently I’m thinking my brains ON BUTTON has resigned without notice. I just don’t feel like I’m properly engaged with anything at the moment.
A day in the life of a misfiring brain…
Yesterday had a few prime examples of my current behaviour. There were a few things I needed to do, and yes, I did do them. Just not very well. The first was a phone call. But the person I needed to speak to was out of the office so it went to her voicemail. It answered my call by asking for a short message and a number to call me back on. Nothing unusual there, and just what you would expect.
So I explained what the matter was regarding, and read out a telephone number. Just as I started saying the last 2 digits of the number, I realised I was recalling my Dad’s home phone number. Whilst the call was connected to him, as he doesn’t live there anymore, it was even less helpful than no number at all! I think I had regressed, as I used to live there years ago. As the recorded message hadn’t said if you can delete your message and change it, I didn’t know what to do. After a short pause (or at least I hope it was) I stumbled over my words, retracting the number to give my mobile number instead.
Not being engaged properly, means you’re not going to follow instructions well.
I was at a regular appointment last week, but the practitioner said my next one needed to be on a different day and time. No problem, I got my phone out to make a note. For some reason, instead of opening Qcard where I schedule my appointments usually, I just made a note. I typed 19 @ 5, as she told me it would be in the afternoon of Wednesday 19th July. It’s usually Thursday morning, but she had something happening that day.
I knew I hadn’t put it where I should have, but still didn’t go back to correct myself. In-advisably I trusted my brain. I should’ve learned by now never to trust that crazy fool! Instead yesterday, Wednesday at 5 pm, I showed up. Actually I was 25 minutes early, so I sat it the car until 5 to. At my last appointment I thought her doorbell wasn’t working, but it was just that I was too gentle with it. So I tried it twice, before reverting to using the knocker. Hmmm, she doesn’t normally take this long to come to the door. I hope she’s OK. And then finally it dawned on me. I remembered typing 19 @ 5 specifically. But I hadn’t taken notice of what that meant. I was a week early!
I don’t even feel engaged with things I enjoy.
Recently I can sit down to watch a program I really do want to see, but still fail to pay attention. After a while I realise I missed something important, so have to keep backing it up to try to catch it again. I don’t know if I’m thinking about other things, or just not thinking.
You’d hope I could at least focus on Dexter, my beloved Bengal?! No, he followed me into the porch as I checked the front door was locked, and I accidentally shut him in there. Even when he started meowing, I couldn’t think where he might be. It was probably 15 minutes before it occurred to me.
So wondering around with a brain injury which maroons me in neutral is frustrating. None of these examples are disasters, just that if I was more engaged in what I’m doing I would be more competent.
Other articles you might like:
- Organise yourself tool. Idea for busy brain injury survivors.
- Scramble consequence of brain injury. Unaware of the muddle.
- Other blogs to watch – links to guest blogs I have written on others sites.
- Patient images – Pictures of me in hospital, and when I first arrived home.
Have you got any tips on how to keep yourself better engaged?