pain Archives - Jumbledbrain

How home repairs trigger noise sensitivity of brain injury

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Thu, 02 Jul 2020 22:30:26 +0000

Until you suffer from noise sensitivity, it’s difficult to imagine what it’s like. Most people would think it’s where your ears hurt from the pitch or sheer excessive volume of a noise. And yes, of course that’s definitely a very uncomfortable factor that we do deal with. However, when you have a brain injury the experience is more complex and overwhelming than that.

You can try to dodge noisy occasions, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

From time to time any home needs some essential repairs, and this week we finally did one that we had put off for as long as possible. Our house sorely needed new soffits and guttering. Literally we had put this off for years, but we finally decided that we needed to replace them. A local contractor quoted us a fair price and as we had hired him before, we knew his work was good. I want to be clear that this is not me complaining about his work. In fact the house looks very smart now, so we’re more than happy with the job. This is just highlighting the harsh reality of what it means to live with a brain injury.

I’m not going to try to describe the noises of them removing the existing materials and installing the new ones, I think you can use your imagination. But every bang felt like it was happening to my head. It was as if I was being pummelled on the back of my head, just below the crown. In turn, this made me feel a bit dizzy and totally drained.

As the pandemic is still lurking out there, I felt I had nowhere to go.

You’re probably thinking “just go out for the day when home repairs are happening”, and usually I would agree with you. I’d go window shopping, find a quiet café to relax in, or something along those lines. But as Covid-19 is still a threat I didn’t feel this was a feasible option this time. Instead I curled up on the sofa with my headphones on and a throw over my head to try to dampen the noise and its effects as much as possible.

But the hardest part of living with a brain injury is how when you need to be able to use your problem solving skills, you just can’t. In times of stress, pain and/or overwhelm, brain fog takes over. I kept thinking that there must be something else I should be doing to make this more bearable, but I just couldn’t think. Fatigue was at an all time high, and for once it made itself useful, for somehow I eventually fell asleep. Part of me thinks this was my brains way of backing out of the overstimulation.

But when the noise stops, the pain doesn’t.

There was some relief as the chaps packed up of the day and peace was restored. But that by no means that’s the end of the problem for me. My head and neck where still painful, which I’m guessing is caused by tension from stress. I did also have herniated discs in my neck from my car accident which I was just told would hopefully resolve themselves. As I don’t know if they ever did fully heal, I suppose my head and neck pain could also have something to do with those.

At least once the noise was gone I was able to start thinking about what I could do to make myself more comfortable. I have a microwavable heat pad with is curved especially to hug your neck. It just so happens to be a flamingo as well which always makes me smile. It has an absurdly massive eye which looks totally demented as it sits on the turntable of the microwave. Each time it comes to the glass door it looks a little more insane than it did the last time. It’s like it depicts what my brain injury can make my feel like, and I do find it funny. Also I have a head massager with 4 figures that when turned on, vibrate. It really does help pushing this over the painful part of my head. It might be helping to relieve muscle tension, or it might be promoting blood circulation, honestly I’m not sure. Either way it helps.

The chaps have completed the work on the front of the house, but need to do the back tomorrow. At least now I’m better prepared as I know that with these tools it will be a little easier.

Do noisy home repairs trigger your brain injury? What coping mechanisms work for you?

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Are these brain zaps just anxiety or my brain injury?

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 15:53:41 +0000

Since my car accident, I have noticed that I get brain zaps at times (or electric shocks as I have described them as to my partner James.) I’ve read many articles which claim these can happen to anyone as they can be a response to a change in some medications and/or anxiety. I’m sure that is true, but I think it also happens to me because of my head injury.

Brain zap symptoms

There are a number of different sensations people can have when they have a brain zap. Personally I have 2 very different types of episodes. The first basically looks like a very dramatic full body shiver like what happens when one is cold. But it can appear pretty weird because it makes me shake my head in an odd manner. This is sort of an involuntary tic. The second is more scary and painful: This is the one that is more like an electric shock and it hurts my head. It’s peculiar because the most intense spots are in my left temple and my left wrist. I almost can imagine that they are the entry and exit points on the electric charge. (Just to be clear, I am not really having an electric shock, it’s just the best way of describing it.) Just before either of these episodes happen I have a tense feeling. I don’t mean in my muscles, just a sense. The tense feeling will suddenly build just seconds before the episode, and once the zap is over I’m left with a sense of relief as the tension is over. The zap is over very quickly for me, but I know some people unfortunately have extended episodes.

What are brain zaps?

I haven’t managed to identify if they have an official name, but brain zap seems to be one of the most common descriptions for it. Other terms people may use include brain shivers, brain shocks, head shocks, or my favourite, because I think it helps others imagine what I’m experiencing, electrical shocks. There is no evidence to suggest that these are dangerous, but believe me it’s pretty disconcerting. I’ve also struggled to find a definitive answer as to what is actually happening when one of these episodes happens. The closest I have come to a explanation is on Anxietycentre.com:

“Seizures are caused by the over-excitement of neurons that then cause an “excessive, hypersynchronous discharge” in the brain. This discharge can cause abnormal neuronal firing that sends uncontrolled neurological signals to the rest of the body causing convulsions and loss of consciousness.

Minor localized seizures, however, produce a small effect. This localization is thought to account for the brain zaps and head zaps symptom where the effects of the “electrical shock” feelings are minimal……hyperstimulation can cause the over-excitation of neurons similar to the cause of seizures, but on a smaller, more localized scale.”

What can cause brain zaps?

It is suggested that some anti depressants can cause this by changing the levels of serotonin in the brain. However as we all have different chemistry this isn’t necessarily true for us all. I started having brain zaps before starting antidepressants, and they still affect me now even though I have been on the same dosage for a long time. It is often reported that some patients can experience zaps as they lower their dosage and it is a consequence of withdrawal. Therefore you should always consult your doctor so they can supervise the pace at which you do this to minimise any adverse effects.

Another culprit can be anxiety and/or depression as it often is due to low levels of GABA Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid). GABA is the brain’s primary inhibitory neurotransmitter responsible for calming the nervous system. Without enough GABA the neurons in the brain can become overactive which is why it feels like the brain has suddenly started to short out. This makes sense to me and I do feel that this suggestion goes some way to explaining why this happens to me.

But this didn’t happen before my brain injury so is it connected?

The short answer is I don’t know, but I strongly suspect it is. Why? Because I have damaged pathways in my brain, so all the information and instructions are being sent the long way round. This means that my head injury is invisible and the average person would never spot anything wrong with me. However, just like it’s more tiring to walk home rather than take the car, my brain is working much harder than before to complete every task. Therefore I can image that in this situation my working neurons can become more overactive as they are having to make up for their damaged counterparts.

Invariably after a long day which has included something like a difficult conversation or travel, at some point in the day I will have a few zaps. So yes stress is a factor, but I think my TBI means my tolerance levels for it have been decreased. I wasn’t an anxious person before my injury so it has definitely affected my brain chemistry and mental health. Therefore I’m blaming my brain injury for that as well.

Other articles you might like:

Do brain zaps affect you? Do you think it's your medication or anxiety or do you think it's because of your brain injury?

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The unpredictable life of a brain injury survivor

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Mon, 09 Apr 2018 14:44:44 +0000

Pretty much anyone can say life is difficult to predict as none of us knows what is around the corner. I mean if I’d left 10 minutes earlier on the day of my accident I might have avoided it. And this blog would have never existed. But as I didn’t have a prophecy, this is where I am. However it’s not massive life changing events I want to talk about. It’s the little things, like planning when to do the shopping that I find my ability to complete can be so unpredictable.

How even the best laid plans can’t be relied upon.

I find it important to try to do the shopping outside of peak times. This is because like many other brain injury survivors, it can be one of the most strenuous and traumatic activities of the week. I did my best to explain the horror of supermarket shopping in 7 Executive dysfunction challenges after brain injury. By going when it’s less busy, there’s less noise and people to be overworking my brain. As my partner James works from home on a Friday, we usually try to go mid afternoon before the rush. Good plan right?

We knew what we needed, the list was ready. James was having a busy morning, so it was just a case of finding the right moment to dash off for the supermarket sweep. I was down stairs not up to much to reserve my energy for the task. I like to join him as otherwise we can feel like passing ships sometimes. It’s an activity where we are both focused on the same result, and communicate properly. As much as shopping is a hated chore to me, this proper one on one time with him means much more.

Then out of the blue, the pain hit me…

My eyes hurt so much. It wasn’t the muscles around my eyes that I was so concerned with. But it felt like my eyeballs didn’t fit anymore, as if swollen. I’d had this before, but it was a long time since my last episode so I thought it was over.

I’d never had problems with my eyes before my brain injury, so I knew this was somehow related. I mentioned previously in Double vision trouble from brain injury how my eyes have been affected. But still this episode was completely unpredictable. I knew I just had to close them and try to sleep until the pain had eased off. So when James came down I tell me he was ready, I had to tell him I wasn’t up to it. I could barely open my eyes, but in the glare of the shop lights I had absolutely no chance.

I know suddenly feeling unwell can happen to even the best of us. But it’s fair to say this happens more to survivors. The human anatomy is finely balanced with hormones, organs and various vital systems with the brain acting as the conductor. But when his timing is off, no matter how hard the orchestra tries, the melody isn’t going to be pretty.

You just can’t take anything for granted.

I was silly enough to think I was over that “phase” with my eye pain. But that was naive of me. For whilst I might not feel like I’m overworking them, who knows if my brain has decided to be a slave driver on them that day for no apparent reason. Thus my ability to participate in an activity is unpredictable. Particularly as this is just one example of the many troubles I now face.

So if the brain injury survivor in your life, who was on good form just an hour ago, cancels their plans with you, please go easy on them. Believe me, you haven’t been ditched for a better offer.

Has your life become more unpredictable? What do you find harder, the fact that you can't always get things done, or how it affects your relationships?

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10 tips to avoid more accidents as a consequence of brain injury

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 14:22:41 +0000

As if facing a life time with a brain injury isn’t enough, you become more likely to have other accidents. Everyone will have accidents, that’s just being human. But brain injury survivors are at higher risk of injuring themselves. Yesterday I did another one, that was easily preventable.

The proof is in the pudding, or in this case the soup.

My partner James had popped out, and I decided to heat up some soup for my lunch. What happened next was a series of poorly thought through decisions.

I went to pour it into a bowl, even though I saw it was bubbling and therefore boiling. My terrible coordination meant I made a bad job of it, and it splashed back up over my hand. I went to flick to off my hand with a sharp shake, which was only partially successful. As I’d shouted when it happened, my cat Dexter woke up and decided it was time for his lunch too. I have basic first aid training, so I know speed at cooling a burn is important. However I chose to feed Dexter first. How ridiculous is that? And as some had spilt on the worktop and floor, I cleaned that up too before running cold water on my burning hand.

Was my brain injury to blame for yet another of my voidable accidents?

Not necessarily, but in all likelihood it probably played a role in it. We can all be careless at times, but my response at every stage was inappropriate. So now I am paying the price with my hand crisping up nicely. The back of my hand is red and delicate, but the worst is my inner wrist. It now sports some go faster stripes, complete with blisters for 3D effect.

So here’s a few tips on avoiding the most common accidents at home. They might sound obvious, but train yourself into good habits. If you have good habits, you’re more likely to respond in a safe way to things. Rather than try to fall back on your problem solving and decision making skills like I did.

Tips to avoid accidents at home, with or without a brain injury:

Be mindful of hot liquids. Don’t place hot drinks for example on table runners which hang over the edge. They can easily be pulled accidentally, causing spillage.
Turn in handles of pots and pans when cooking. A handle sticking out over the edge of the hob can easily be knocked and the hot contents to cause an injury.
Any spills should be cleaned up quickly. This is to prevent them causing anyone to slip and fall. However, make sure that if the spill happened due to you causing an injury to yourself, deal with your injury first and ask for help.
Install grab rails. Bathrooms are a must for grab rails as the slippery surfaces make falls all too likely. But make sure other areas of the house has been thought about too. Often I slip in the kitchen, but it’s tiny so I can grab the work surfaces. If yours is more generous, think of what would help you if you lost your balance.
Keep electronics and water at a safe distance. Things can be dropped or pushed accidentally into water. This can make them short out and as water is a good conductor it can result in electrocution.
Secure rugs. You might remember me talking about rug grippers before in 5 steps to end time consuming indecision of brain injury. These simple, inexpensive items could be the difference between a nasty fall or not.
Best practice for your stairs. Make sure carpets are properly installed making them secure. The hand rail should run the entire length of the stairs, and you should be in the habit of always using it. Avoid placing rugs at the top or bottom of the stairs, as they increase the risk of a fall. (Even with grippers.)
Don’t overload sockets. You must never be tempted to plug an extension cable into another extension cable. This could cause a fire.
Never leave a naked flame unattended. Candles must be kept away from flammable objects. Curtains are a common household item that can quickly catch fire.
Have a plan for if there’s a fire. Install a smoke detector and regularly check the batteries. Make sure you know how to exit the building, bearing in mind the obvious ones might be obstructed by the fire. Have keys for the doors where anyone staying in your home can access them so they can easily unlock the door to exit quickly.

The list could easily go on. If you want to look at a very comprehensive list Preventing Accidents in the Home by Rospa is pretty much on the money.

Other articles you might like:

Have you had avoidable accidents which you think your brain injury had a hand in? What tips do you want others to know?

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5 signs that you need to pace yourself better for brain injury recovery

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 12:09:02 +0000

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you might have noticed I can be over ambitious. I’m sure there were examples of me doing this before my brain injury, but I’ve definitely got worse. Most likely it’s because I haven’t accepted that I need to pace myself more now. Whilst I might be willing, I need to recognise my “able” is a bit deflated and has shrunk.

I aim a little too high.

Some days I think as long as I’m not too tired to start with, I can still do everything I could before. And in some ways that might be true. But it could take longer, the result might not be up to the same standard, or I might never complete it. Whilst I can write this and recognise it now, my rigid thinking can make that harder when I’m in the moment.

I’m banned from buying flat pack items.

I have always been a “have a go hero”. So when I’m thinking of home improvements I’m not put off when furniture is flat pack. I’ve actually always enjoyed it. I know nothing about carpentry or joinery, so this is as close it to I will ever get. But I love the sense of achievement you get when it’s finished.

But since my brain injury there are several reasons why I shouldn’t try unsupervised.

No attention to detail – I don’t read the instruction properly, or study the pictures hard enough. I have forced dowling rods into holes meant for screws, and then wondered why the screw doesn’t fit in the dowling hole.
Lack of strength – Often putting these projects together means throwing some crazy shapes whilst you try to hold things together in unimaginable positions. But that’s even more difficult when your injury has left you much weaker than previously.
Pain – Whilst I’m used to dealing with my “regular pain levels”, embarking on these projects is different. I can intensify them so much that I’m good for nothing for days after.
Fatigue – Doing something so physically and mentally challenging drains me so quickly. When I started it might have felt like a good idea, but that doesn’t last long.

Learning to pace myself better.

This week I have been repainting the garage door. That would have been a breeze for me before. But I have accepted I need to do each stage one day at a time. Sanding, cleaning, painting the door and painting the wood surround have all been done on different days. Alright, the British weather might have helped to convince me to stop when a new shower passes by. But even I can admit this pace is better for me.

Signs indicating that you also need to pace yourself more:

Getting more moody than normal – Dealing with a chronic illness makes us moody enough. But using up your precious resources too quickly and depriving yourself, can deplete your patience for anything. (Or anyone.)
Find you are obsessing about what still needs to be done – The fact that you have already accomplished great things pales into insignificance. Instead the “To do” list seems to burn a hole in your head, and you can’t relax until it’s all been ticked off.
You don’t leave time for yourself – You never have time to have a proper meal and just snack. Or you wanted to go on a nice walk in the park, but put it off to complete your “To do” list. There’s a book you have been planning on reading, but you haven’t found the time or energy yet.
You cancel other plans – Many of us struggle to socialise due to our brain injuries. But if you don’t pace yourself properly you can find you’re just too frazzled even before you get there and have to cancel.
You struggle to sleep – You can’t switch off and so find yourself passing the time on your phone. Checking social media, reading news and emails or playing games. None of this helps you sleep until pure exhaustion takes over. But you still wake feeling drained.

If you recognise yourself in these, you too need to slow down. The modern world is getting faster every day, but slowing down is the best way for us to keep up.

Other articles you might like:

How do you pace yourself differently after your brain injury? Have you found the right balance yet, or are you still adjusting?

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Friends agony of my brain injury I didn’t let her help with

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 13:44:47 +0000

I have many friends who live far away as I relocated years ago. But they are amazing friends that although we rarely see each other, when we do it’s like we only saw each other yesterday. And they mean the world to me. But when I was first injured I didn’t let on to them how badly I was affected. I suppose I wanted them to think of me the way I was, not the broken confused mess I had become. Perhaps that was egotistical of me. Also I thought I was doing them a favour. They were so far away they couldn’t do much anyway. So I thought it would just be something they would worry about that they didn’t need. But actually I have realised that maybe I was being unfair.

I bottled it all up.

Whilst you are used to me being very honest with you about my experience, it wasn’t always like this. I’d gone from this confident, self assured woman, to a babbling, twitching mess. I used to enjoy how people would value my opinion on things and ask me for advice. But suddenly I had nothing to offer, so I just sent out the message that I had survived a car accident. That’s it. Whilst they were all thinking “That was a close shave” they didn’t know this was much worse than just whiplash.

But my friends were devastated I didn’t ask for help.

My friend H (I don’t know if she minds being named) when I first started this blog sat down and read 5 articles in one go. These were the ones that really lay out the initial struggle of my brain injury. H found herself crying that I had faced that without my closest friends. Previously I wrote in Relationships vanish magnifying the trauma of brain injury about what it’s like to find some people aren’t in your life anymore as they can’t deal with the change. And there are some people who fall into this category who I can guarantee don’t read this blog. But actually H and some others would have bent over backwards for me, if I had let them. I was busy thinking how I had nothing to give, but H just wanted to help, not take anything in return.

Don’t put words in other people mouths.

I had misjudged the situation altogether. Maybe that was because I undervalued myself. I knew H was an amazing person, as are the few friends I still have keep in touch with in the South West of England. But we had never faced a test like this, and as life moves on, I assumed this broken me wouldn’t fit anymore. But since I have opened up I have seen that I was wrong. Life is a journey that never stops shaping us. So just because we change, it doesn’t mean others won’t still like us. H says there are facial expressions that I don’t pull anymore, but that could just be that I’ve grown up rather than the brain injury.

H likes to try to spread happiness and make others smile even when she feels like crying herself. And this is what makes her special. So H, I’m sorry I didn’t let you in earlier. Just having another person to share this with would have been what I needed, but I thought I was being selfless by not.

I’m telling you this because I don’t want others to make the mistake I did. As I explained in Relationships vanish magnifying the trauma of brain injury , many of us do find some can’t cope. Don’t automatically think people don’t want to know the details or can’t help. It’s not even that anyone has to do anything in particular, it’s just knowing they are there for you. If there is someone you haven’t spoken to in a while who never had the full details of your experience, maybe trying reaching out to them. You might be surprised. You have nothing to lose, and perhaps a lot to gain.

Other articles you might like:

Is there someone you with you could open up to? Or is there someone who has been your rock that you couldn't have done it without?

The post Friends agony of my brain injury I didn’t let her help with appeared first on Jumbledbrain.

How I overlooked other problems & wrongly blamed my brain injury

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Mon, 27 Mar 2017 12:16:19 +0000

I have had limited support with my psychical symptoms following my brain injury. So I have started to try to just accept my reality, and push ahead. Previously I wrote in Is my brain injury making me paranoid? about how I wondered if I was looking for problems too much. Getting the balance between identifying issues to deal with, and obsessing about it is harder than you think. I chose the wrong problem to overlook this time.

Being knackered has become my base level.

Fatigue is part and parcel of most brain injuries, so my constant tiredness is something I have come to expect. And as I was in a car accident I expect things to ache forever now. The nerve in my left leg was damaged so I have limited feeling, but it continues to improve. When I was 21 I fell off a ladder and landed with my left leg twisted under me. Initially I thought I was OK, but then the years of pain followed. But the nerve damage meant that old injury stopped being reported to my brain. It was great. So when I started to notice it again along with lower back pain I thought I would just have to overlook it. I assumed that as the nerve healed, I had to accept my old injury would raise its ugly head.

Has my lack of strength affected my pain threshold?

The pain was worse than I remembered it. Just walking up the stairs suddenly became exhausting and severely painful. But life goes on, so I thought I had to grin and bear it. Perhaps it was my fault for not exercising enough. Anyway, as I was tired of feeling like there was nothing Doctors could do for me, I did nothing about it.

That is until my partner James insisted I make an appointment. He argued that as I’m always a bit anaemic maybe I should have a blood test. So I did and my doctor decided to test a few different things at the same time. She told me to call in about a week to check the results were OK. Then I received a note in the post before the week was up to make an appointment regarding my results. I knew then that they had found something. But I had already decided I would just be told to take more iron tablets.

This time it wasn’t just iron I was deficient in.

I was surprised when she told me I was SEVERELY LOW in vitamin D. As the UK is so far north, it’s common for Brits to become a bit low on vitamin D during the winter. As our skin creates it from the energy of mid day sun on our skin, its not strong enough that time of year. Plus we are indoors much more, and when we do venture out we tend to be bundled up in numerous layers. But it’s unusual to be severely low. As vitamin D it known for helping bones grow and repair, perhaps I had used more than usual for my injuries. A common symptom of the condition is pain in the hips, pelvis and lower back –the pain I had written off as my old injury. Plus tiredness as vitamin D is used to aid the absorption of other nutrients, including iron.

If I had continued the ignore these symptoms it could have resulted in osteoporosis, a condition which causes fragile bones. I’m now taking a high dose of vitamin D and trying to get out more. It will probably take about 2 months to restore my levels and I’m hoping the tiredness and pain will ease. There shouldn’t be any long term damage, but that’s only because James pushed me and my doctor was vigilant. The moral to this story is don’t assume you know everything and heard it all before.

Do you sometimes overlook your issues because of your brain injury?

The post How I overlooked other problems & wrongly blamed my brain injury appeared first on Jumbledbrain.

Is my brain injury making me paranoid?

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Sat, 08 Oct 2016 11:13:36 +0000

Yesterday I went to the opticians as my eyes have been hurting so much, but maybe I was being paranoid. I already have a prism in my lenses to assist with the double vision, but also my brain isn’t lining the images up properly so it doesn’t completely solve it. But as my eyes aching so much, yanking them out on tooth picks has almost felt like a viable option. So when I’m told they haven’t changed at all I wonder if I’m over thinking the effect of my brain injury? Maybe I just don’t wear my glasses enough. I’m only a tiny bit short sighted so I have been wearing them only for driving. But right this minute I have put them on to type this. The optometrist thinks I might be straining them looking at the screen. Sounds obvious right?

I find I worry all the time that things are happening as a result of my brain injury because I don’t know what I should expect. It leaves me feeling paranoid.

I didn’t wear glasses before my accident, and I was told that it was only because they prescribed the prism that they bothered to give me glasses at all. I’m not short sighted enough for it usually to be worth the trouble. But the Neurologist at the hospital told me not to bother with a prism as it’s my brain, not my eyes. So bloody confusing.

How am I supposed to know with all this different information?

On the flip side I have got used to my left leg having altered sensation. Now I have started ignoring what’s trying to tell me. Cold things touching my skin can feel like a crocodile has become attached to my leg. I used to scream the house down, but now I just use mind over matter and carry on. But the problem with that is, occasionally my nerves are trying to tell me something important. Like I stepped on some glass and badly cut my big toe, but I ignored it. I was thinking it was that I was being paranoid about that naughty crocodile having a nibble at me again.

So what should I learn from this situation? Do I respond when my nerves report pain, or accept this is my life now I carry on?

I suppose I just have to be vigilant and worry less about if me checking all the time makes me look like I’m paranoid or wasting peoples time.

Other articles you might like:

Do you find you get paranoid, and how do you deal with it?

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Dealing with light and noise sensitivity after brain injury

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 12:41:07 +0000

Busy places can be difficult for anyone who isn’t feeling well, but they can be a total nightmare if you have a brain injury. Usually our brain filters out a lot of information that it considers unnecessary, but many of those with a TBI find those filters aren’t working.

This sensitivity can cause over stimulation and be overwhelming.

One day James’ parents had come to see us, which is a long laborious drive for them. So first we had them relax with a cup of tea. We had a good catch up and although I do find visitors take up a lot of mental energy I thought I was doing alright.

We went out for dinner, and the restaurant was pretty busy. They were playing music to give the place an upbeat feel, but the table they sat us at was right underneath one of the speakers.

I was trying so hard not to make a fuss but all the chatter from the other dinners and the music left me unable to follow any conversation. It was so uncomfortable and I knew I must have looked like a sulking teenager. But I felt I was being polite by not storming, out as I was drowning in sound. At this stage I couldn’t think properly, and we should have just moved tables to a quieter spot. But I thought by saying “no I’m fine here, don’t worry” that I was helping. Clearly it wasn’t.

My mood kept getting worse as I continued to struggle with how the noise was making me feel. When the food arrived I could barely touch it. The sensation of feeling it in my mouth and taste was just extra input for my already completely overloaded brain. I found I had to just stare into nothingness and not even try to hide that I wasn’t paying any attention to anyone. I was acutely aware that I was being rude but it genuinely was the best I could do. But everyone was fine about it, and I was just relieved when we went home so I could try to recover.

But it’s not just noise I can struggle with. Light can be painful for my eyes. Sensitivity to both light and noise can be disastrous.

On a bright summer’s day, or a winters morning, when the sun is low and straight in your eyes we all can struggle and be reaching for the sunglasses. But I find being indoors can affect me too. The strip lighting in some supermarkets is devastating for me.

As for the dentists chair, that’s another story. I have to shut my eyes due to my light sensitivity . Then they keep asking if I’m OK, because they aren’t getting any visual cues from me, even that I’m still conscious. So I make the eh-huh noise, as you can’t speak when you have all their equipment in your mouth. Coupled with being in the chair I get so dizzy that I’m no longer certain if I’m managing to stay still for them. But I’ve had no complaints from them so I can only assume that I do.

So I can find myself wearing my shades in what looks like odd places. I’m not trying to look cool, I’m just trying to stay sane! But knowing that I might look unapproachable, or as if I’m some celeb wannabe, also makes me feel awkward. I know I put too much effort into trying to second guess what others are thinking of me, when in fact they probably haven’t even noticed I exist.

If I don’t wear shades, as well as the pain, I can become dizzy and confused. All together it’s a crushing combination and can mean the only solution is to go lay down in a darkened room. It makes everyday life such hard work at times.

I have to shut the world out because my brain keeps letting too much of it in.

For more on senses being affected by brain injury try:

How do you cope with noise and light sensitivity? Love to hear your tips, and don't forget to share this post so others can get ideas too.

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Why you must mind your head after a brain injury

Michelle #jumbledbrain — Wed, 14 Sep 2016 11:39:33 +0000

After a head injury you have to be even more careful than ever to make sure you look after it. But that can be difficult if you are having problems with balance, spacial awareness, dizziness, sight, coordination or all of the above, which I was.

Sometimes life hits you on the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.

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I think I had always been a little on the clumsy side as I was invariably sporting a bruise somewhere most days. But after my head injury it had got even more ridiculous. My partner James felt the need to walk behind me when going up stairs, and in front of me when going down so if I fell he could cushion me. But it wasn’t just the stairs we had to worry about.

Lots of people have accidentally hit their head on a open cupboard door but usually they learn from the experience. I didn’t.

Left unsupervised I could get myself into all kinds of trouble. Stupid things like I might take the lightening cable out of my phone that had been charging over night, but drop the phone through the open iron head board. Reaching down to retrieve it, I would forget a little thing like there being a wall, and smack my head.

Once you have a head injury, any time you hit your head it feels like you’ve gone back to where you started.

Every time a had a silly accident like this it hurt like hell. I’m not talking about the bump or bruise, I’m talking about feeling like your head is going to explode. If you have ever seen one of those films where someone gets trapped in a decompression chamber and the other guy throws the switch so the person inside explodes, the moments before they die their face explains it all.

The worst one was the accident I had with a revolving door.

I’d gone to see some friends who’s office had moved into a posh service centre. I’d been there before so I knew what to expect. Perhaps if it was because I was thinking about where I needed to be, but this time as I left I got it all wrong.

I didn’t notice that there wasn’t a open space and that it needed to spin a little more. I just walked straight into the glass. Wham. But I was so busy trying to regain my composure and dignity that I just carried on. The pain was unbearable, but I got into my car ready to leave. I reversed out, and started driving past the other parked cars. Then someone else started to back out, and it seemed they hadn’t spotted me yet. I knew I had to respond, but as I’d just bashed my head so hard I just couldn’t think fast enough how to stop the car! So I stepped harder on the accelerator hoping I could get out of the way fast enough.

I was lucky this time to get away with it. But it did scare me how I couldn’t remember how to move my leg to hit the break.

Multiple concussions are very dangerous. The brain finds it harder to recover from multiple injuries particularly when it is still working on one. So if you have or know someone who has had a head injury, please look out for them. The brain is as precious as it gets, and so far a transplant isn’t possible.

After a head injury you need to make sure you are fit to drive again. Read my advice on this in Important advice on driving after a brain injury.

Other articles you might like:

What accidents have you had after your head injury and what impact did it have on you? Or have you also had a near miss after your injury?

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