Immediately after my accident, I could only speak in a strange high pitched voice. I continued to squeak for months afterwards too. But a more serious and distressing affect, was my difficulty with swallowing. I would choke on foods all the time. This is dysphagia, which partially could be due to some damage during intubation. There was a significant bruise on my neck which hinted to the problem.
Even my tongue felt foreign. It felt like it was too big for my mouth and didn’t fit. But also I would find, even if I hadn’t finished chewing my food, my tongue would decide to try to throw it down my throat anyway. Don’t know who my tongue thought he was, getting above his station like that!
But my brain injury was partially to blame for my dysphagia, as my tongue and throat muscles were getting the wrong instructions.
A speech and language specialist taught me some exercises to reduce the tightness in my throat muscles. In time this allowed my voice to return to normal.
One day I thought a tiny bit of food was stuck again in my throat, thanks to my gun ho tongue, but it seemed to be there for days.
I think I had become a bit complacent by this point. I was so used to having uncomfortable sensations, that I just tried to ignore all the signals. But a part of my brain remembered (rightly or wrongly, I’m really not sure) that I was eating crisps when this first happened. Kettle chips, which I had been a favourite of mine of some time. I loved the more rigid and sharp texture of them, but now that felt like the problem.
Eventually it became clear it couldn’t be food lodged in my throat, as it went on for too long. It would get worse with stress as well. I affectionately named this “lumpy”.
An ear, nose and throat specialist used a camera to check there wasn’t a growth of some kind. He did this by putting a camera up my nose and down my throat. I knew that a camera was needed, but up my nose?! But I got the good news that there wasn’t anything suspicious in there, just my stupid brain being a bad manager and causing muscle tightness.
One day, when I was stressing about something, “lumpy” came on so strong I couldn’t breathe. My throat felt like it had closed my airway all together! I tried to put myself in the recovery position, where the head is tilted back to open the airway. I was sweating, couldn’t speak or make any sound at all. Feeling dizzy as I must have been suffering from a lack of oxygen. Luckily James (my partner) was on hand to calm me down enough for me to manage to get some air. Maybe that’s a panic attack, but it really did scare me.
So I continued with the exercises, and continued to improve. But I haven’t had a Kettle chip since. I’m clearly blaming them for something that wasn’t their doing, but I think I have developed a bit of a food phobia. Anything that has a similar texture I have avoided ever since. Even just thinking about this as I write I can feel the sharp pain of a kettle chip sticking into my throat.
I’m pleased to say “lumpy” hasn’t been around for a while now, and I’m hoping it stays that way. My experience of dysphagia was uncomfortable at the best of times, and terrifying at it’s worst.