When I know I have something particular happening the next day I plan ahead. I make sure I get plenty of sleep that night, and have everything organised. This always used to work for me before. It meant I would be ready with my “A game” and be on top form. Naturally I still needed a good cup of tea to help me on my way. But soon I’d be on my marks, primed for the off. However my brain injury turned all that on it’s head, leaving me exhausted.
Fatigue isn’t something you can just snap out of.
I was going to the National Pet Show. If you follow me on Twitter you might have seen some pictures I was tweeting of Dexter, my Bengal. They said they were going to display visitors pet photos, so I wanted my little hero up there. But they did nothing of the sort, I was duped into advertising for them. However it demonstrated my excitement. I had been the previous year to the event in Birmingham, and had an amazing time. This year I was going to London, as it’s more local for me. And I imagined everything is always better in the capital, so this would be a show stopper.
But from the moment I woke up I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. I don’t have an explanation for why, only that my brain injury has a mind of its own. My partner James spotted it immediately and kept suggesting maybe we shouldn’t go. But I had been looking forward to this for ages. The brain injury wasn’t going to beat me this time.
Travelling when you’re exhausted is a nightmare.
We drove to a tube station where at the weekend there is free parking near by. Even on this leg of the journey I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I couldn’t hold a conversation as that took brain power I just didn’t have. James was chauffeur, but still noticed I was spent. But I ploughed on and we began the tube journey the to Excel centre.
As the London underground is quieter at the weekend than it is during the week I was coping. But I felt like I was existing instead of living. It went down hill when we changed at Canning Town to get the Docklands Light Railway or DLR. (The DLR is still part of the underground, except it’s overground without being “The Overground line”. Confused?)
These trains are one long beast. The carriages are joined by sections which can twist and turn with the track, whilst allowing it to be wall free between the carriages. This part of the journey was the busiest, as the Excel centre always gets good attendance when it holds events.
So as we tried to find a space, we found ourselves standing in one these connecting sections. But I didn’t notice I had one foot in the carriage, and one on the twisting floor. I stood, hanging on to a hanging strap for standing passengers. Next to me was some guy who smelt like he hadn’t had a wash for a week. As he too was hanging on a strap, but was taller than me, my nose was almost in one of the offending armpits. The odour was overpowering that even when the train started moving, I still couldn’t sense my legs were moving in different directions. I was thrown all over the place. I survived, but if I hadn’t been so exhausted I don’t think I would have made this error. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
Adrenaline is like making a pact with the devil.
Once inside I loaded up on coffee. And the excitement of seeing the amazing creatures got my adrenaline going. Soon I was more like me, and was pleased I’d come. Although I would say in my opinion Birmingham did it better than London. They created a better environment and atmosphere, but the birds and animals were what I came for.
But whilst adrenaline gives a welcome boost, it comes at a price. Days after the event I’m still exhausted. All it means is you have energy up front, but like a loan shark it makes you pay with interest. You pay for it many times over.
So should I have continued, or stayed at home and rest? Life is for living, and whilst I’m feeling down and out now, you have to make to most of things. Life is too short to just live in the safe, boring zone forever. Just be prepared for a prolonged visit to the safe, boring zone after the excitement is over.
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14 replies on “A brain injury can leave your energy levels exhausted”
I have a hard time not being able to do what I used to, but I’be learned I have to stay within my limits or I’ll pay for it dearly afterwards
I will try to listen to my brain and body more, but I am stubborn by nature. I often cut off my nose to spite my face. Stupid I know.
like is the wrong BOX… my brain agrees COMPLETELY with yours….
i am at the sofa…and on good days blog at
https://atleastihaveabrain.wordpress.com …..irony etc
Helen
I agree, like is the wrong box but I know what you mean ? I am trying to stop over stretching myself and find a good base level but sometimes I get over ambitious.
Gosh, I feel I have ‘walked in your shoes’. I have this constant battle with myself, push through, you are not defeated, get a grip girl. But really the reality is we have poorly brains, they need a break more often, they need to recharge, they are healing, so if you don’t treat them with kindness they become more delicate to recover.
I am guilty of pushing through, not wanting to miss out and I pay for it afterwards, then I feel I shouldn’t have bothered, because there I am again fatigued, brain needs to rest.
I hate it, I hate having to adapt everything just so I can get through a normal day and not put myself at risk. It’s slow recovering from a brain injury ( gosh I am sick of hearing that) but it is true, I can look back and see I am improving, or maybe I have just got better at managing this brain.
Rest works, before and after any activity. Go and do life, be prepared, go with a fully charged brain, carefully plan for the best outcome and be prepared for the after effects, there is no denying it , this sucks!
But this is how it is, for now. If you push to hard you will put yourself at risk and that’s not good for those who support you either.
I really am my own worst enemy sometimes. Old habits die hard and all that.
Hypothyroidism is likely your answer. The thyroid gland is in your neck area. Often times doctors do not do a full thyroid panel after brain injury.
If you can get to an Endocrinologist, please ask them for a full thyroid panel blood test.
Yes an underactive thyroid does give these symptoms too. I have already been diagnosed with this and am regularly checked to make sure the dose is right. But thanks for pointing this out as I’m sure others reading this should get themselves tested.
I also have an under active thyroid and am on medication. This brain fatigue feels different though.
Fatigue is such a big subject when it comes to brain injury isn’t it. There is no “one size fits all” answer to it. All we can do is keep trying.
Hi your blog has been so reassuring in just the first few posts I’ve read. I’ve been trying to come to terms with the mental and physical issues I’ve been facing since a bleed to my brain in December (then again in January!). Although I appear to be functioning “normally” to those on the outside, the fatigue, anxiety and the plethora of other side effects are not really acknowledged by anyone else.
It’s so difficult for others to understand what we go through. And you must to frightened of more bleeds happening?! My heart goes out to you. Stay strong.
Thank you. A year ago I finished an ironman triathlon and now I’m trying to regain my fitness. Trouble is, as you stated, I can go on a bike ride, but I pay for a week or two afterwards. I’d rather do something I love and be knackered as a result, than not try 🙂
Yes exactly. We have to have some fun!